Tag Archives: Family

Striving for Perfection

Janine and Rob2I come from a long line of perfectionists.  I’m not going to list names because I don’t want to embarrass anyone, but you know who you are!  That personality disposition has manifested itself in my life and I’m seeing it now more than ever.

It hurts to say it because the truth hurts sometimes, but at this moment I’m unemployed.  I wasn’t forced or asked to leave; I chose to leave to relocate with my husband.  This is the first time since 2004 that I’ve been without a job.  At first, I thought I’d love the freedom and the break that unemployment would provide.  I’d spend time renovating the house, sleeping in, meeting new friends, and exploring my new stompin’ grounds.  But in reality, it’s been none of those things!  It’s actually been quite the opposite.  I find myself getting up when my husband gets up, so there goes sleeping in.  I have made a couple of acquaintances, but haven’t even invited them over.  How am I to make friends that way?  I would like to work on house renovations and improvements, but have learned that it’s not as easy Janine and Rob 1as it looks on tv!  I don’t know anything about installing light fixtures, sewing and hanging scarf valences, staining wood trim, tearing down walls, and all those things that need done in this old, new house of mine.  Sure, I can watch videos, but when it comes right down to it, I’m scared to try it.  Why?  Because I’m afraid of messing up.  I’m worried I will fail.  I’m fearful of not being perfect.  I liked it so much better when my life was centered in and around people, places, and things that were ‘put together’ and established: my organized house, my decorated classroom, my talented students, my chorus lessons.

I was reading in my devotions this morning and came across this one sentence that really put everything into perspective.  In her book “Jesus Calling,” Sarah Young writes the following: “Instead of seeking perfection in this fallen world, pour your energy into seeking Me: the Perfect One.”  Psalm 46:10 (NET) echoes this. “Stop your striving and recognize that I am God!  I will be exalted over the nations!  I will be exalted over the earth!”  I like the sounds of that….sounds so…perfect!

What did I just say!

oopsDid you ever say something you wished you could take back?  You know, open mouth and insert foot.  In our families don’t we just sometimes say the meanest, most thoughtless things?

I know I have and do at times.  One time I was so exasperated at the shenanigans of my daughters, that I blurted out ‘you don’t have half a brain between the two of you’.  Not exactly the nicest thing for a mom to say!  I guess I can justify it a little since I’ve read that humans only use about 10% of their brain capacity, so added together that would be 20% and that’s less than even a quarter of brain power (am I stretching it here?), but I really can’t get around that it just wasn’t appropriate not to mention positive!

Actually, it left a visible ‘scar’ on their memories.  I know, because they have never let me forget it.  It has become one of those family jokes.  Their excuse for any number of silly, nonsensical things they come up with when together.  And it became a catch phrase for Chris, their brother to use when he was exasperated with their actions.

Even though we laugh about it, I still have a suspicion that it still hurts a little when they remember the instance in which I said it.  I can’t take back those words, but I’m sure trying not to open my mouth as quickly as I used to.  Maybe, just maybe, I’ll avert making other really stupid, hurtful comments.

Good words to live by — Rash language cuts and maims, but there is healing in the words of the wise. — Proverbs 12:18  The Message