I never viewed myself as a very controlling person. I usually let others take the reins and just settle in my nice comfortable seat of following. Lately though, God has been revealing something to me…that I am a total control freak! I mean, not controlling of others, but of myself. Throughout my life I thought I was doing a pretty okay job at living my life for God when in reality I was making decisions based on myself and what I wanted out of life. God has been pointing out so many areas of my life that are still under ‘my control’.
I like to think about it like a house. I do feel like I’ve given Him access to quite a few rooms in my house…but I have some locked doors too, the keys to which I have a death grip around..I’ve hidden those keys so well I think that God will never find them! It’s like He’s standing outside of those doors, lightly knocking, waiting to be let in, but it’s just so hard to relinquish that control and hand over the keys! I think sometimes I pretend not to hear the knock and figure it must just be those shutters flapping in the wind again! But honestly, how come it’s so hard to trust God with every part of our lives? I think for me it goes right back to trust. Trusting that He is truly in control of all things (Col 1:16-17) , trusting that He loves me and that He really does have some kind of plan for even me!
I hope and pray that you and I can learn to trust this sovereign God more and more and start loosening our grip on those keys!